Families typically have certain distinctions. Christian families are no different.  The Gospel marks Christian families. Below is an outline summary of the sermon for your further study and deeper reflection.

SERIES: Colossians: Alive in Christ
TEXT: Colossians 3:18-21
TITLE:  How Christ Marks Christian Families  
PREACHER: Tim Lambros

POINTS:
Mark #1 - Submitted Wives
Mark #2 - Husbands that Love
Mark #3 - Children that Obey
Mark #4 - Fathers that don’t provoke their children

SERMON EXCERPTS:
All quotes, and text emphasis, are taken directly from the pastor’s notes.

”Now in V. 18 we get into specific application YET we don’t throw out all we’ve learned and been anchored in from  the earlier parts of the epistle.”

”So how do you typically approach the to-do’s of the NT? The calls and commands of those who have a life hidden in Christ? Here’s some help. It’s important for every believer to understand how Justification and Sanctification are rich and important aspects of the Christian life. Christians need to know that these two are inseparable but have distinctions that help us understand the differences. Here's a warning – if you don’t get your mind around the distinctions between justification and sanctification – then attempt to obey God in the calls and commands of the NT – you will quickly become a card-carrying legalist. We’re about to explain four commands God wants to obey but first let’s review some distinctions between  justification and sanctification.”

“Justification - being declared righteous, our position before God, objective – Christ’s work for us, Immediate/complete
VS.
Sanctification - being made righteous, our practice before God, subjective – Christ’s work in us, process – you will be more sanctified.”

“So we are alive in Christ – our lives are hidden in Christ – we now work hard at putting to death certain sins and putting on Christ-like righteousness. So let’s look at 4  distinctions we are to pursue, to be marked by.”

“There are not too many topics that will arouse the anger of a certain segment of our culture. Our post-modern, rights-seeking, power-seeking culture. Yet if people would truly understand how liberating the Scriptures are, they would appreciate the wisdom of God in the creation of man and woman.”

“First, the fact that God’s Word addresses wives and men would be radical to the early recipients in Colossae. Women were property, they had no legal rights. Men had no fault divorces and women had no say in the matter. Husbands had all the privileges and wives had all the duties. God’s Word comes thundering in to correct this.”

“Secondly, God’s Word teaches men and women are equal before God. Equal in dignity, value, and worth. Yes, they are called to different roles, but all throughout history the abuses of women are outside God’s Word. If Biblically understood, God’s Word is the most liberating and elevating message to women there is. The Bible clearly teaches that men and women are EQUAL BUT DIFFERENT.”

“Reread the text. ‘Wives submit … as is fitting in the Lord.’ Biblical submission has some edges, definition. It can’t be culturally defined or generically understood. What is fitting to the Lord? A wife is submitted to one man-her husband. We’re talking about the Christian home here. We’re not addressing all the contexts outside the home.”

“Wives submit … this is beautiful because it’s first modeled in the Trinity. There is equality in the Godhead but there are roles too. Christ submitted to the plan of salvation – He submitted to the plan to take on flesh, live within the limitations of a human body, live sinlessly although facing every temptation you and I face. He submitted to the Cross. He was tortured, beaten to the point of death.”

“A wrong attitude about Biblical submission, an unbiblical view of a wife’s role, not only goes against the clear teaching of Scripture, but it also cheapens Christ’s submission to God the Father. A submitted wife, a wife that intelligently and joyfully compliments her husband in decisions, ministry, parenting, and all of their lives together, paints a picture - the  Trinitarian Godhead.”

“‘Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.’ As you can probably imagine, this command is because men will be tempted in their flesh - the way they used to live BEFORE they were alive in Christ - to serve themselves and be harsh with their wives.”

“More than just a command, this should humble all husbands and future husbands with this reality – apart from the power that comes by being in Christ, being alive in Christ, you will resort to your former self – the old man – living like you did before you came to Christ.”

“Gospel power – the power that comes not from us but by our union with Christ – enables and empowers us to love our wives in a way that echoes how Christ loved us – sacrificially. Christ’s love was sacrificial – Philippians 2:5-11 states that Christ left the comforts and glory of heaven, willingly setting aside His equality with God, lived with the constraints of a human body, and died a death He didn’t deserve – AND DID THIS FOR THE  JOY SET BEFORE HIM.”

“This kind of sacrificial love is what characterized our Savior Jesus. We can be marked by this kind of love as we live in the power of the Cross. As we are marked by our Savior. Husbands, this is a command. This is God’s will that you live like this. When Paul wrote in Colossians 3:1 that we ‘seek the things that are above’ this is what he’s addressing. Loving your wife sacrificially and joyfully comes as you seek Christ, who is above, seated at the right hand of God.”

“Wives and husbands are to be marked by the transforming grace of God…so you’ll notice these commands cannot be done apart from God’s power. Seeking those things and setting our minds on things above need gospel power.  These marks or these calls and commands inherently position us to lean on the Holy Spirit.”

“‘Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.’ Define obey – First, note that it’s not ‘submit’, where there is a joyful, intelligent offering of a wife’s submission.  Second, the word obey really consists of two words – listen and under. Listen under your parents. Really listen to your parents and come under what they say.”

“Children are to listen and be under their parents – how many of us have taken our kids through the Proverbs? Proverbs 1:5 -  let the wise hear. Proverbs 1:8 - Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and not forsake your mother’s teaching.” 

“Children are to obey – in everything. You may ask – everything like there aren’t any exceptions? No, this is not a whip that a cruel parent can use to cause his children to sin. This is not a command so parents can take advantage of their kids or harm them. Yet the command is meant for parents to expect their children to have a posture of obedience – notice what the text says next – for this pleases the Lord. Similar instruction in Ephesians 6 – where the command simply states ‘obey our parents for this is right.’”

“IMPORTANT: Children learn to listen to the voice of God’s Word by listening to their parents.”

“Colossians 3:21 and Ephesians 6:4 warn fathers to not provoke – to not exasperate their children.”

“To exasperate means ‘to make very angry or irritated.’ To embitter means ‘to arouse  bitter feelings in.’ In Colossians, the verb translated as ‘exasperate’ or ‘embitter’ means ‘to  stir up.’”

“We must bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord with a pure heart and not a self-serving motivation (to impress others, to avoid embarrassment because we are irritated or because they make life hard). Our children must know they are dearly loved and enjoyed - they are not projects suited for our benefit. To do otherwise is to risk exasperating or embittering your children.”

“What does it mean to provoke or exasperate your children? To frustrate them? A  couple of examples to consider: 

• We call them to obedience but don’t tell them the why.  

• We criticize or berate our children instead of encouraging them. 

• We expect our children to change but don’t engage them with the gospel.”

“Why the command/warning? A child so exasperated or embittered will ‘become  discouraged’ or ‘lose heart.’ We can subtly communicate to our children that no matter what they do they are always wrong or lacking so what’s the use?!”

“What a chance we have to shine in this culture. You see it in the grocery store, you see it at the ball game, you see it when families gather – Fathers exasperating, frustrating their children. We have been saved by Christ and now we are alive in Him! We live to obey Him in all ways – as His children, we are setting our minds on things above.”

“Do you encourage your children to obedience in non-conflict times? Are you training and discipling your children primarily in the non-conflict moments of life?  Deuteronomy 6 "‘when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.’? These are the daily, mundane parts of each day and this is when you have the prime time for discipling your children. Parents who only deal with their children when they need correction are immediately on a slippery slope to exasperation. Gospel-less correction will provoke your children. Will discourage your children. “

QUOTES:
William Plumer- “Justification is an act. It is not a work or a series of acts. It is not progressive. The weakest believer and the strongest saint are alike equally justified. Justification admits no degrees. A man is either wholly justified or wholly condemned in the sight of God.”

Kent Hughes - “The point is, we have here a simple and powerful command to all children to truly, from the heart, obey their parents. Neglect of this command brings great sorrow, if not now, then surely later in life. But if obeyed, it brings fullness.”

APPLICATION:
What are you characterized by when it comes to obedience to Christ's commands?
- Are you a legalist when it comes to obedience to Christ's commands?
- Are you licentious when it comes to obedience to Christ's commands?

SONGS FROM THIS SUNDAY:
Rejoice
There is a Fountain
I Will Glory In My Redeemer
Rock of Ages
I Need You
Turn Your Eyes

NEXT WEEK’S PASSAGE:
Colossians 3:22-4:1

THE BOOK OF THE QUARTER: