A wife’s complementarian role in marriage isn’t an old-fashioned tradition or a barbaric form of oppression. When a wife embraces God’s design for her in marriage, she serves and worships the Lord. Below is an outline summary of the sermon for your further study and deeper reflection.

SERIES: The Final Word
TEXT: Ephesians 5:22-24
TITLE:   It’s Not About Your Marriage, Part 2
PREACHER: Derek Overstreet
BIG IDEA: When a wife gladly submits to her husband, she worships the Lord.

POINTS:
1. A Horizontal Mandate
2. A Vertical Motivation

SERMON EXCERPTS:
All quotes are taken from the pastor’s notes.
”…nowhere in Scripture are the roles ever reversed. The husband is always called to loving, sacrificial, and understanding leadership, and the wife is always called to joyful submission to her husband’s leadership. That’s God’s Final Word on roles in marriage.“

“Clearly, 21 calls us to submit to one another. But unless that submission is qualified and defined, it would be chaos. That’s precisely what Paul is doing. Beginning with the wives, Paul shows how we submit to one another, not in a mutually absolute way, but according to the God-ordained roles and relationships we find ourselves in. So, Paul instructs us on Christ-exalting submission in different relationships, first wives to husbands, then children to parents in 6:1, and finally employees to employers in chapter 6:5.” 

“What does biblical submission look like? Wives, your role is to partner with your husband (and your husband only—context is marriage) as his helpmate. That is not a mindless task. Biblical submission does not mean you’re a doormat. You are not a silent partner without a voice.”

“True complementarianism doesn’t mean you’re forbidden to disagree with your husband or speak out apart from your husband. You’re not called to obey your husband, as children obey their parents. That’s hyper-complementarianism. It’s destructive. It’s unbiblical. It’s no complementarianism at all. It grieves the Spirit. If your husband is leading you into sin or stubbornly leading you into a supremely unwise situation—don’t submit! I appeal to you to reach out to your pastor. If you don’t feel physically safe, reach out to your pastor and get help. If you are married to an unbeliever (tricky), reach out to your pastor and get help.” 

“A marriage is a loving, intimate, covenantal union between a man and a woman, co-heirs with Christ, equal yet different to complement one another. That means there is a necessary interdependence and a great degree of mutual submission in marriage. For the wife (husbands, we need to hear this and lead our wives in this), that means using your strengths, skills, wisdom, understanding, and perspective to help your husband as he makes decisions and leads your marriage and home in a Christ-exalting direction.”

“To be clear, Paul isn’t saying wives are to submit to their husbands EXACTLY as you submit to Christ—that’s idolatry! Husbands, we have to be careful that we don’t lead our wives and have expectations of them that, in effect, cause them to idolize us. Ladies, before you are a Christian wife, you are a disciple of Jesus. And as a disciple of Jesus, you are called to an absolute and complete submission to Him. So when Paul says submit to your husband as to the Lord, he means: A wife submits to her husband as an expression of her submission to the Lord.”

“This means your marriage is not about your marriage. It’s about God filling the earth with the glory of His wisdom and the mercy of His love—through your marriage! That should bring us to our knees. But it should also flood our hearts with hope. The very thing at the heart of your marriage—the gospel—is powerful enough to transform any marriage, including yours.”

“Nothing is more critical, essential, and hopeful to your marriage than believing the gospel is powerful enough for your marriage! When you believe it, your marriage is a living parable that produces joy in your heart, shines truth to the world, and brings glory to God.” 

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURE:
Colossians 3
1 Peter 3
Titus 2

QUOTES:
Alexander Strauch - “The word submission can hardly be used in our culture without misunderstanding and strong disdain. It is loaded with negative, provocative connotations, yet submission is a biblical word and a Christian virtue. We cannot avoid it.”

Gary Ricucci - “The relationship between a husband and his wife is meant to be a reflection of Christ’s relationship with his church—a living parable of the supernatural union between Jesus and his Bride.”

APPLICATION:
1. Know your calling by studying it
2. Transfer the truth
3. Don’t be surprised when submission gets difficult